from one mom to another, let’s have a real talk.
Hey there, sweet friend! If you’re a new or soon-to-be mama in Raleigh or Wake Forest, bless your heart – you’re about to enter the most beautiful, exhausting, life-changing chapter of your life. And while nothing can truly prepare you for motherhood, there’s a whole lot of wisdom that seasoned moms around here wish they’d known from the start, so I asked them what they would tell themselves.
So grab a warm coffee (even if you have to reheat it three times—no judgment here), and let’s talk about the top 10 things Raleigh moms wish they’d known before having kids:
1. Just because your husband does it differently, doesn’t mean he’s doing it wrong.
It’s hard not to hover when you’ve been reading all the parenting blogs and following all the sleep training advice, but let your partner find their own groove too. Your baby isn’t looking for perfect, they’re just looking for love. Different isn’t wrong – it’s just… different. And honestly? That variety of love and support is a gift to your child.
2. Separate your day into what you can do with baby awake vs. asleep.
This is a game-changer. folding laundry? Baby’s awake. meal prep or showering? Save that for nap time. Managing your day this way gives you structure in a time that can feel chaotic. Plus, it helps you feel a little more in control (even when you’re rocking the same leggings for the third day in a row).
3. Don’t feel like you have to do it all.
social media lies, y’all. You don’t have to be a gourmet chef, a baby whisperer, and run a picture-perfect home all in one day. Focus on your baby and yourself. The dishes can wait. Your peace of mind can’t.
4. Always leave 30 minutes for any task.
Getting out the door? Give yourself at least an extra half hour. Blowouts, nursing sessions, and last-minute “where’s the paci?!” delays are part of the package. Slowing down your expectations will make you feel more successful, even when you only make it to Target and back.
5. Give yourself grace – you’re still learning.
Nobody has this all figured out. Even the most confident mom you know has cried in the pantry with a baby monitor in one hand and a snack in the other. Be gentle with yourself. Every day, you and your baby are learning each other, and that’s a beautiful (and messy) process.
6. Throw all your expectations out the window.
Seriously. Every baby is different. Every birth story, every feeding journey, every sleep pattern – none of it goes according to plan. Let go of “shoulds” and “musts” and embrace what is. Motherhood is unpredictable, but that’s what makes it real and raw and wonderful.
7. Figure out a way to sleep in shifts.
Y’all, sleep deprivation is no joke. If possible, trade off night feedings with your partner or a family member. Even just a four-hour chunk of uninterrupted sleep can make all the difference. Your mental health matters just as much as your baby’s next feeding. For the nursing mamas (that was me!) wake up, feed baby and then go right back to sleep. Trust your partner so that you both get the rest you deserve.
8. Have meals ready and in the freezer.
The best gift you can give your future self is a stocked freezer. Think lasagna, soups, pasta dishes, breakfast burritos – anything you can grab and heat with one hand while rocking a baby with the other. Bonus points if a friend starts a meal train!
9. Cherish every single moment with your baby.
The days are long, but the years are so short. The newborn stretch doesn’t last forever, even if it feels endless at 2 a.m. So breathe in that baby smell, take way too many pictures, and hold that sweet little one just a little longer.
10. You’re doing great. Really.
As the brilliant minds of Bluey said in ‘baby race’, you’re doing great. Even when you feel like a mess. Even when you’re covered in spit-up. Even when you’re crying in the shower. You’re showing up. You’re loving hard. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.
Whether you’re strolling through Pullen Park with a stroller or sipping a latte at Jubala while baby naps, know that there’s a whole village of mamas here in Raleigh and Wake Forest who have been there, are still there, and are cheering you on.
From one local mama to another, you’ve got this, and you’re never alone. 💕
With love and camera in hand,
Emily
Fingers and Toes Photography 